Saturday, March 27, 2010

March 26, 2010 - Just A Friday

Scott quotes from last night:

"Fifth fourth third second first."

(Answering his phone)
"Manure, manure, manure, manure, hellooo."

"House, follow me they're trying to fuckin rape me."

"My ass is not open."

"Saturday is gonna be awesome its gonna be dirty its gonna be out of your mind raw ass."

"Shut up Jim I'll suck on your dick."

"Don't worry guys I'm not passing out." he we close the door to Pat and Jeremy's room on him where he passed out.

Friday, March 26, 2010

March 25, 2010 - 3rd Floor Girls' Room

Quotes from Scott:

"I belong to the Catholic apostolic church. One holy Catholic apostolic church."

"Chris I feel like a fuckin' ape right now."

"Chris we're friends. Hakuma matata."

"Sometimes I can't hold my vaginal bladder."

"That's my spoon. Fuck you."

"I love crustaceans."
(While singing along to the discovery channel commercial, the actual lyric is "I love arachnids.")

"If I was in the bomb on Nagasaki, I'd die."

"Me llamo es family."

"Sitting down is the definition of woman."

"Cal Ripken is my manhood."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

March 23, 2010 - Tuesday Night

Scott text from last night:

(314) Somehow just fell into the trash.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

March 21, 2010 - Sibs Weekend Part Two

Someone told Scott he couldn't sprint all the way across Stuart field and up the hill. So he did. Then he disappeared at the top of the hill. I don't know where he went. Neither does he.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

March 19, 2010 - Sibs Weekend

Scott text from last night, while at Hooters with his family:

(314) "Crew: our waitress is hot. I have a boner while with my family."

Sometime after midnight...
Scott and his sister are walking on the sidewalk in the ghetto taking shots out of a bottle of vodka. A cop pulls up and gives them a citation, during which the cop asked Scott how old he was. He replied,

"I'm 17, going on 19."

Scott is 19. His motives for this statement remain unclear.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

March 17, 2010 - St. Patrick's Day

"Jason Bourne is the home of my saint. Copy cat, printer, Caitlin, orange, yellow, fuck, pup n suds."

"Joey! Your bible is the best bible! Joey's is better... Joey your bible is the best bible. I was in the bible, and my teacher said turn to page 66, like the bible turned itself."

"I'll make out with mother of god."

"Muslims pray five times a day. I have to pray five times a day. I am muslim."

"Pocahontas and John Smith. They got married. She met the tree and the tree with the wind..."

"Everything and underthing."

"You don't read basset hounds, you play with basset hounds."

"My sister had a basset hound, but then a duck ate it. The duck ate the basset hound."

"It's my carmel apple ranger bar. I have a fish."

"In the words of James Blunt you are flying high."

"I love Charlie like 99 66 percent."

"Everytime Charlie comes over he wakes me up, I wake up, I sober, then I drink."

"I would save Jesus before I would save the world. I mean I would save Charlie before the world I love him so much. Donatos."

"Ow, my soldier!" (referring to his head)


"I just sat in 27 oceans right there."

"I'm going to copy my sandwich so I have six of them." (and proceeds to photocopy his sandwich)

"I am Albert Einstein and Bill Gates times 66. I will be Bill Self at the end of this."

"Drink? I'm not fucking Dave Chappelle."

"I don't care if Roland tells me I can't walk to see Lupita. I'm walking to her and saying 'I built your house, bitch."

A running list of the antics of one Scott Pickel. It all started on St. Patrick's Day, 2010 at the University of Dayton...