Monday, May 10, 2010

May 4-10, 2010 - Daytona

Let's start with a story. The first night in Daytona, Scott got lost. He had no idea where he was, and everyone was really worried about it. Turns out he managed to get ten miles away, and an employee at a Rally's had to call him a cab. He told me he thought he was in Orlando. He told his mother he thought he was in Mexico.

Scott texts from Daytona:

(314): I am waving a ride ride at the fourth house end house.

(314): Come to my virgin

(314): No ceiling

Scott quotes from Daytona:

"In the words of Brad Pickel, you look like a horse."

"I'm gonna say sorry to my own god damn ass. I was ready to jump in front of a tire."

"Charles Connolly is a free spirit. When you hang out with Charles's spirit, you've gotta keep an eye on it."

"You already ate a piece? Fatass."

"I like to rotate."

"Scott. Ranch. Scott. Ranch."
(while dipping his food in ranch)

"What is this, a parking ticket?"
(It was a receipt.)

"Flop flip flop flip flip flip flop flop."

"I wish I was Bert and Chris was Ernie. I've been convinced they're gay since my birth."

"I'm sick and tired of people saying, 'Why didn't you name yourself Dill?' If someone said, "Why don't you call yourself Angelica?' I would not be upset. I need something new. I just wanna be known as Scott... Don't correlate it with any 1990 TV show."

"I would trust a fucking statue before I would trust you, Cowlen."

"SHUT UP MIKE. You're always whinin'. Mike Wyan. Mike Whinin'."

"Annette wouldn't care. Conette. Nanette."

"You don't have a D cup. I wish you had a D cup."

"I like to chug in the sand. Its more aerodynamic."

"I'm going to go to the airport tomorrow and be like, 'I'm Scott Pickel can I get on a fuckin plane?I paid for it I swear."

"Sacagawea says no! Long live B. Anthony."

"Jefferson Davis."

"I just ate asbestos. Migalignant melanoma, that's what I just ate.

"Open up your legs. Prison sex. Cowlen, open up your legs."

"Listen up, Lisa Leslie. I'm sick and tired of your shit. Go play basketball."

"Are we going to the circus first?"

"I heard you, ronito."

"Look how cute this one is!"
(when he found a tiny palm tree)

"Everything's feminine now for guys. I can't read a book without someone fuckin judging me. What kind of world do we live in today?"

"Save your energy for my sack."
(when Scott wanted me to shave his face for him)

"When I'm hammered, I don't feel my own fucking mother's name."

"We were made to be roommates. We were made to be anal buddies."

"I will after beer pong. And after I get circumcized."

"19 years old, 25 days, I'm gonna live forever."

"The mad hungrarian. He's very hungry."

"Mike Ryan's a big jolly green giant."

"Hey slowpoke get your fuckin ass up."

"It does feel like a fuckin helicopter cuz you go up, then land like on a fuckin sumo wrestler."
(while taking the elevator)

"I'm layin' on the fuckin track."

"Holy shit the fucking solar eclipse is happening right now. The northern lights are happening in this room right now."

"I am three for four with three cuts."

"No don't grab Cowlen's hand he's being a god damn plaid pants."

"Kasey I just wanna touch your tits. I don't care if it's drug induced, or permissive. I don't even know what permissive means."

"I didn't touch your tits!"

"Cowlen I'm about to shave your fuckin head."

"This bed is unleavened. Bed needs some yeast."

"This is better than anything I will ever stumble upon."

Sarah: "Did it work?"
Scott: "No, but I'm gonna finger myself."
(While Scott was trying to throw up. He meant stick his fingers down his throat.)

"I would have definitely gone to the doctor if I was home."

"No ceilings. I never learned to tell time."

"Adorable and a gerbil. No wait. Adorable and enjoyable."

"Cowlen is bruisin for a cruisin. I'm gonna fuck Cowlen on the dick."