Friday, April 30, 2010

April 30, 2010 - Last night at UD

Very last night at UD for freshman year. Scott stumbled in around 3:30 and eventually passed out on the couch.

Scott quotes from last night:

"Calling it makes me easier."

"Put a vac- not a vacuum. Put a trash can right there."

"Don't go to war, please."

Chris: "Scott, do you want to sleep in your bed instead?"
Scott: "I'd rather make sure you're ok."

Saturday, April 24, 2010

April 23, 2010 - The Last Friday

Scott woke up this morning and asked if he just chilled in the room last night. Nope, he went out.

Scott text from last night:

(314): Pumpkin seeds

Scott quotes from last night:

"I don't care if a turtle takes a shot. I'm taking a shot."

"You are a little loud, hirohito."

"The castle... it's the biggest... it's the bestest... it's the nicest on campus... but I assure you, Cowlen, there will be a party."

"I'll take a multi-grain handful of seeds."

"I'm just lookin for that right girl who likes 2 inch dick."

Friday, April 23, 2010

April 21, 2010 - Wednesday

Scott went out, and then apparently went to the library to look for someone. He called me around 2:45 am.

Scott quotes from last night:

Scott: "Where are you?"
Chris: "In our room."
Scott: "Where are you in our room? You must be lost in our room."

"Why don't you become a psychoangelo?"

"You're just a shit disturber, Cowlen."

Scott: "I'm six minutes away."
Chris: "Where are you?"
Scott: "Six minutes away."

By the way he didn't come back until 4am.

Monday, April 19, 2010

April 18, 2010 - Night Before Scott's Birthday

Scott has no recollection of Saturday night. Woke up Sunday with Mancala pieces in his pocket.

Scott text from last night:

(314): Chris if you play. Mancala ill lillyyo

Scott quotes from last night:

"The devil wears prada. She wears prada. Cass is wearing prada."

"I'm finding the first cat picture and whatever it says, I'm doing."

"Padraig Harrington, what's up."

"Pupil. That pupil is pupil."


(Answering his phone):

(on the phone):
"Is this one of those free bets to get a case? Cuz if not, squirtle."

"Chucky huckles. I'm waiting for chuckles huckles."

"I swear to God you fuckin suck on me tits."

Sunday, April 11, 2010

April 10, 2010 - Lowes Fest

Last night, Scott was walking around campus with purse full of beers. He looked like Alan from The Hangover. He also stayed up until 9:30 am. He called me at 7:30 and asked where I was. I told him where I was and told him I was going to go back to sleep. He called me at 7:40 and asked where I was. I told him the same thing.

Scott quotes from last night:

"I feel like a newborn baby. I can't hold my fucking head up."

"I don't owe a Cubs fan anything. I don't care if they ree-sus-sus-atate me after a terrible plane crash. You have a beautiful face for a Cubs fan."

Me: "Scott what are you doing?"
Scott: "Karate choppin'."

"I was seriously a black belt fifteen minutes ago."

"I believe in racism. I believe in satan. But I don't believe in the Cubs."

"The Goblet of Fire and the Bradberry bag."

"Stick it up your ass and get the fuck over here."

"Room poop. Poop room."

"I'd rather have Dumbledore."
(while we were arguing about who should narrate the discovery channel show "Life.")

The next morning...

"I mean if Lisa Leslie invited me back to her room, I'd go."

"It's like the fucking movie. We're trying to find Private Ryan."

"Where'd your fucking stupid Malaysian hat go?"

"Private littering is romantic."

"Listen, I do wanna touch your ass, but I wanna do it under my own power."

"Somebody give me scissors so I can cut off that stupid shirt Allison has on."

"You literally just liberated my asshole."

Friday, April 9, 2010

April 8, 2010 - Thursday, Our Room

Last night, we had some people over in our room. Scott didn't make it out.

Scott text from last night:

(314): 4 3 2 1 bye

Scott quotes from last night:

"That's a hand print saying I love you."

"If there's any dick to suck, I would hope you'd suck mine."

"This is Jim." (holding and pointing to his contact solution.)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

April 5, 2010 - First Night Back

Scott came in last night mumbling about the text from last night that mentions "Barack Obonga, Commander in Kief." Necessary to know if the first quote is to make any sense whatsoever.

Scott Quotes From Last Night:

"J.D. Drew can suck on my left nut as much as he wants to. Colleen Ambrose, left nut, Commander in Kief."

"Desmond Johnson was not the president of the major leagues of softball."

"Can Johnson win it for the Negro Leagues? The Negro Leagues suck, I don't have to say why... and here comes the pitch and its a home run. And the Negro Leagues win, by the score of 4 to 2, on a home run by the wizard. Go crazy, folks."

"ROTC will fuck my dick."

"2:06? AM,PM, or SM? If its SM I'm staying up all night."

"P.S.... what does P.S. mean? I don't fucking know."

"I will fuck a piano before I touch your turtle, you suckacockawakanaka."

"You leave me with all the highlights of your black life."

"Why don't you Huggims him? Haha, get it? Fucker."

"Ramen, ramen, what am I, fuckin' Asian?"

Friday, April 2, 2010

April 3, 2010 - Easter Break

One lone quote from Scott tonight, but he did sprint out my front door and I had to chase him across my lawn and down my street because he refused to wait for his sister to drive all the way up to my house. Anyway, the not-so-exciting quote:

"There's a butterfly."