"Jason Bourne is the home of my saint. Copy cat, printer, Caitlin, orange, yellow, fuck, pup n suds."
"Joey! Your bible is the best bible! Joey's is better... Joey your bible is the best bible. I was in the bible, and my teacher said turn to page 66, like the bible turned itself."
"I'll make out with mother of god."
"Muslims pray five times a day. I have to pray five times a day. I am muslim."
"Pocahontas and John Smith. They got married. She met the tree and the tree with the wind..."
"Everything and underthing."
"You don't read basset hounds, you play with basset hounds."
"My sister had a basset hound, but then a duck ate it. The duck ate the basset hound."
"It's my carmel apple ranger bar. I have a fish."
"In the words of James Blunt you are flying high."
"I love Charlie like 99 66 percent."
"Everytime Charlie comes over he wakes me up, I wake up, I sober, then I drink."
"I would save Jesus before I would save the world. I mean I would save Charlie before the world I love him so much. Donatos."
"Ow, my soldier!" (referring to his head)
"I just sat in 27 oceans right there."
"I'm going to copy my sandwich so I have six of them." (and proceeds to photocopy his sandwich)
"I am Albert Einstein and Bill Gates times 66. I will be Bill Self at the end of this."
"Drink? I'm not fucking Dave Chappelle."
"I don't care if Roland tells me I can't walk to see Lupita. I'm walking to her and saying 'I built your house, bitch."